My 13-year-old son, Zac, and I were driving to his Gorham Recreation basketball game when I asked, "Did you bring your gym sneakers?"
"Oh... no. I forgot." replied Zac.
"Call mom and she'll bring them along when she meets us at the game." My wife, Monique, is extremely bad at judging time and is usually running late to any scheduled event. This is why she was coming in a separate car.
Zac used his cell phone and called her. "Hello?... Mom?... I forgot my basketball sneakers... Yeah... Yeah... Okay, thanks... Bye..." He hung up and said, "She's gonna bring them."
"Did she give you a lecture."
"No."
"What did she say?"
"All she said was 'You're kidding.'"
"So, she did lecture you."
"No she didn't."
"Yeah... she did."
"All she said was 'You're kidding.'"
"And we Mainers are known for being pretty reserved. THAT'S considered a lecture." I shifted uncomfortably in the driver's seat. "...God, I'm friggin' hot. Are you?"
"No. I'm fine."
I looked at the heater. It was turned off. I liked my surroundings to always be nice and cold. If I had it my way, Maine weather would always hover around a comfortable fifty degrees. I then gazed down at the switch to the electric seat warmer. It was set to HOT. I said, "No friggin' wonder. I knew something wasn't right when my entire body is comfortable but my ass crack is sweating like mad. Remember that, Zac."
"I'm going to try not to."
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