I wonder if he's going to be buried in a locker?
Since it's February 29, does that mean Davy Jones will be dead only one-fourth as long as Whitney Houston?
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
BOOK REVIEW: Conroy Shoots... HE SCORES!!!
If the reader is familiar with Mr. Conroy's work then you know much of his
material is taken from his horrible childhood. His 6'4", physically and verbally
abusive, Marine dad made his and his siblings' lives a living hell. The memoir
reenforces the highly dysfunctional nature of his family as well as life at the
draconian Citadel in the mid-1960s. The core of this book is about how
basketball was an integral part of the author's identity from age 9 until he
graduated from the Citadel. Also, besides his teammates, his college coach, Mel
Thompson, plays a big part in this story. Mr. Thompson was still alive when the
author's book was published and if the former coach read the sucker, I can't
imagine he was too pleased with the depiction of him.
The book, however, is not just a story about basketball, but Mr. Conroy's wonderful game descriptions took me back to when I used to play. Their second game against VMI, which went into four overtimes, was an especially edge-of-your-seat chapter. The book has a lot of heart. The dialogue between the players sounds very authentic. I felt it had the right balance of suspense, insight and humor by the brutally honest Mr. Conroy.
The book, however, is not just a story about basketball, but Mr. Conroy's wonderful game descriptions took me back to when I used to play. Their second game against VMI, which went into four overtimes, was an especially edge-of-your-seat chapter. The book has a lot of heart. The dialogue between the players sounds very authentic. I felt it had the right balance of suspense, insight and humor by the brutally honest Mr. Conroy.
At the ripe age of 51, I still don't understand the coaching
approach of using fear and intimidation to guide players. These sort of a-holes
view sports as war and they're the tin-pot dicators on massive ego trips. Mr.
Conroy also shows how insecure people like Mel Thompson leave lasting scars on
many players well into their golden years. Instead of helping shape boys into
men, they hinder such development because they themselves have never grown up.
Mr. Conroy's coming-of-age story is a truly wonderful memoir for anyone who
enjoys or enjoyed basketball.
(Meyers - A few years ago, I started writing book reviews under the pseudonym Franklin the Mouse at Amazon's web site. This is my most recent review #288)
Sunday, February 26, 2012
A Mouthful
(A guy's e-mail to a friend)
Hey dude, here's a photo of your wife at my son's birthday party.
(Later)
Sorry, bro. I'm still getting used to the crop function.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Bladder-Busting Humor
Steve Martin accepting the Mark Twain Award for Humor is my favorite speech. Absolutely hilarious.
Friday, February 24, 2012
They Deserved Oscars For Hosting
Two of my favorite quotes by Oscar hosts:
In 1995, David Letterman who made reference to the nominated film Eat Drink Man Woman by deadpanning, ''That's how Arnold Schwarzenegger asked Maria Shriver out on their first date.''
In 2001, Steve Martin - "Halle Berry is here, whose win last year (The Monster's Ball) broke down barriers for unbelievably hot women." Here's Mr. Martin's opening monologue:
In 1995, David Letterman who made reference to the nominated film Eat Drink Man Woman by deadpanning, ''That's how Arnold Schwarzenegger asked Maria Shriver out on their first date.''
In 2001, Steve Martin - "Halle Berry is here, whose win last year (The Monster's Ball) broke down barriers for unbelievably hot women." Here's Mr. Martin's opening monologue:
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
BOOK REVIEW: Transcendental Chimp
(Published 2011, paperback edition 575 pages)
Bruno being compared to Nabokov's Humbert Humbert is accurate in the sense that
the chimp isn't very endearing and his observations of life are thought
provoking. Mr. Hale is clearly a gifted writer. Seeing the world through Bruno's
eyes allowed the author to describe the mundane in colorful ways. The chimp has
a child-like wonder about everything around him. In this way, Mr. Hale was able
to talk about a variety of subjects such as love, religion, science, vanity,
art, teaching, knowledge, reason, pride, evolution, animal research, jealousy
and pretty much the whole gamut of human emotions. But high adventure this big
sucker is certainly not.
The book will likely be limited in its appeal to only people who love fine, "artsy" literature. I don't know if the author was just trying to show off by using words like pinguid, pithecine, Westermarck Effect, bildungsroman and infundibuliform or if obscure tongue-twisters was supposed to be part of Bruno's personality. The book is chockfull of these words. I haven't had to utilize my iPad so much since reading something by one of my favorite columnists, H.L. Mencken. The last two hundred pages became more of a chore than anything else. Mr. Hale has a chapter towards the end of the book that is 11-pages long but written as ONE paragraph and I saw no value to it except giving me an urge to drive an ice pick into my ear out of boredom. Other reviewers said Mr. Hale's book made them laugh. The heck if I know what those passages would be. It's a morose, uncomfortable tome. If you like that sort of thing. Have at it. I'm just glad it's done.
The book will likely be limited in its appeal to only people who love fine, "artsy" literature. I don't know if the author was just trying to show off by using words like pinguid, pithecine, Westermarck Effect, bildungsroman and infundibuliform or if obscure tongue-twisters was supposed to be part of Bruno's personality. The book is chockfull of these words. I haven't had to utilize my iPad so much since reading something by one of my favorite columnists, H.L. Mencken. The last two hundred pages became more of a chore than anything else. Mr. Hale has a chapter towards the end of the book that is 11-pages long but written as ONE paragraph and I saw no value to it except giving me an urge to drive an ice pick into my ear out of boredom. Other reviewers said Mr. Hale's book made them laugh. The heck if I know what those passages would be. It's a morose, uncomfortable tome. If you like that sort of thing. Have at it. I'm just glad it's done.
(Meyers - A few years ago, I started writing book reviews under the pseudonym Franklin the Mouse at Amazon's web site. This is my most recent review #287)
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
The Apples Not Far From The Tree
Back on August 5, 2011, my brother, Mike, and I were talking on the phone. He lives in Washington state and I still call Maine my home. Despite us having no other siblings, we rarely talk with each other. A year or so may lapse before one of us calls just to chitchat. Mike and I sound similar; deadpan delivery with very little animated inflection entering into the mix. The following excerpt from our conversation lends to the strong possibility that it, as well as other qualities, are inherited traits.
"...Yeah. Yeah. Yeah." said Mike in response to some wise-ass comment made by me.
I said, "Holy shit... You sounded just like Dad."
"Yeah, well..."
"Don't feel too bad, Mike. A lot of mornings when I've just gotten up and look in the mirror, I see Dad staring back at me."
"You also have his ass."
"What?"
"You and Dad have the same shaped ass."
"I find that statement disturbing on so many different levels."
Monday, February 20, 2012
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Saturday, February 18, 2012
The Week That Was
A man in Las Vegas had a heart attack while eating a Triple Bypass Burger - including 1.5 pounds of beef and a dozen bacon slices - at a place called "The Heart Attack Grill." ~~To be fair, they did comp his meal!Portland neurologist John A. Boothby has been placed on probation after the Maine Board of Licensure in Medicine heard that he was rude, condescending and threw a tissue box at an adolescent patient. ~~Even worse, on the patient's bill, there was a charge for "viewing bad behavior." http://goo.gl/n91sW
Police in Minnesota have arrested a man who allegedly stole up to $25,000 in Tide laundry detergent from a supermarket. ~~He was caught because his partner "hung him out to dry." http://goo.gl/gHGiA
Food Network's host of "Dessert First," Anne Thornton, has been fired for stealing recipes from Martha Stewart. ~~As a matter of fact, she's been mimicking Martha Stewart so much, Anne's also been covicted for insider trading! http://goo.gl/OUhdt
The former Kennebec Ice Arena, which saw its roof collapse last winter, will be rebuilt and re-named, "The Bank of Maine Ice Vault." ~~By the way, during hockey games, goals will now be called, "deposits."
http://goo.gl/XAL6K
Record company Sony has apologized for hiking prices of Whitney Houston songs right after she died. They said the music was "mistakenly mispriced" on iTunes. ~~ "I Will Always Gorge You" http://goo.gl/LWlWk
Friday, February 17, 2012
Bill Maher On Atheism
Mr. Maher never has qualms about throwing punches involving sensitive topics. The following clip is his funny take on people calling atheism a religion.
Food For Thought
Back on September 8, 2010 while driving our two sons to a soccer practice, Zac who was ten-years-old at the time, asked, "Dad, are people omnivores?"
"Yes." I answered.
"So, some people choose to not eat meat."
"That's right. Paul McCartney, who was one of the Beatles and also a vegetarian, described it as not eating anything with a face... ehhh... Which, I guess means that vegetarians will eat a pumpkin but not a Jack-O'-Lantern."
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Making A Monkey Out Of Humans
Humans have a very narrow, arrogant view of what constitutes intelligence. Some of us have discarded French philosopher/mathematician Rene Descartes' bullshit view that animals are just sort of like complicated clocks and that they have no real feelings or cognitive abilities as compared to people. Descartes was flat-out wrong. Check out this video.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
BOOK REVIEW: Worrywart Walden Wannabe
The world is made up of high-maintenance and low-maintenance people. Mr. Rouse
and his partner, Gary, are without question high-maintenance. Speaking as a
heterosexual male, happily married for almost thirty years and raising two sons
in rural Maine, I can honestly say these flamboyantly, artsy, cynical,
shopaholic urbanites live on a completely different planet than I do. Mr.
Rouse's idea of "roughing it" is denying themselves malls, trendy hangouts,
designer foods, cable and celebrity magazines. Moving from St. Louis to
Saugatuck-Douglas, Michigan isn't imitating Henry David Thoreau's Walden Pond
lifestyle by a long shot.
However, I laughed a lot reading this book, but so frequently had to google references to people, places and things he used as punchlines that I'm surprised I didn't develop Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. The guy is waaaaaay too involved in celebrity/fashion culture for my tastes. Mr. Rouse is extremely whiney and I'm hard pressed to believe some of the stuff between these pages actually happened. It's difficult to fathom him being this clueless. The memoir is a cynical, selfdeprecating journey of self-discovery that reenforces an unappealing gay stereotype of effeminate, sarcastic helplessness.
However, I laughed a lot reading this book, but so frequently had to google references to people, places and things he used as punchlines that I'm surprised I didn't develop Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. The guy is waaaaaay too involved in celebrity/fashion culture for my tastes. Mr. Rouse is extremely whiney and I'm hard pressed to believe some of the stuff between these pages actually happened. It's difficult to fathom him being this clueless. The memoir is a cynical, selfdeprecating journey of self-discovery that reenforces an unappealing gay stereotype of effeminate, sarcastic helplessness.
Don't get me wrong. It's a very funny a book but this baby made me squirm often
over its outrageous flamboyancy. Also, the author can't seem to go more than ten
pages without mentioning some guy's looks or pork sword. We get it. You're gay.
Enough already. If you are looking for a lighthearted read, you may enjoy Mr.
Rouse's memoir. I'm just glad it wasn't any longer because I had had my fill of
all his whining.
(Meyers - A few years ago, I started writing book reviews under
the pseudonym Franklin the Mouse at Amazon's web site.
This is my most recent review. #286)
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Higher Learning
I'm an avid reader and an introvert. I love reading and constantly learning new things on a wide variety of topics. Also, due to my sensory issues with noise, reading is the best way for me to relax. Crowds, television or radio noises can be tolerated in small doses, but I need "quiet time" afterward to decompress or you're going to see me up in a church tower, buck naked and picking off people with a high-powered rifle. If I have to attend a crowded, noisy function that is populated with strangers, it takes a great deal of self-restraint not to say, "Go away" when they try to engage me in conversation.
Our two sons, Zac and Jon, more often than not see me with a book hiding my face. Which is a good thing; considering I'm butt ugly. Back in November of 2010, I had just completed an excellent, two-volume history of the Holocaust by Saul Friedlander. While Mr. Friendlander's books were highly informative, they were also very depressing and caused me to have a handful of nightmares. Apparently, being a glutton for punishment, the next book I dived into was a very good, nonfiction work entitled The Dark Side by Jane Mayer.
Zac and I were sitting together on the gym bleachers; waiting for his basketball game to begin. Naturally, I had Ms. Mayer's book open and was reading.
Zac asked, "What are you reading?"
"It's a book about how the United States government tortured prisoners during President Bush's terms in office."
"Wow... why do you keep reading books like that?"
"I'm looking for new parenting ideas."
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
BOOK REVIEW: Old Isn't A Dirty Word
Ms. Jacoby has the subtlety of being hit by a two-by-four between the eyes. Much
like the presentation in her other work "The Age of American Unreason," that's a
good thing. Clearly, the liberal atheist has no qualms about arguing from her
secular vantage point. Again, this is a good thing. Ms. Jacoby correctly
surmises that the overwhelming majority of Americans are in denial about the
severe physical and mental infirmities that come with old age. Advertising and
politics portray our "Golden Years" in a very unrealistic light. Junk thought
and false hope are our diet. Heck, most healthy Americans want it to continue
being our diet. The author should be commended for trying to burst many of these
silly, harmful bubbles.
Ms. Jacoby covers important topics such as Alzheimer's; women dealing with outliving men; baby boomer's denial and efforts to not get old; myths about how we used to respect our elders in this country; greedy geezers, saving and planning for retirement; Social Security and Medicare crises; physician-assisted suicide; the morality of extending life; and (my personal favorite) she debunks the myth about old age bringing about wisdom.
Ms. Jacoby covers important topics such as Alzheimer's; women dealing with outliving men; baby boomer's denial and efforts to not get old; myths about how we used to respect our elders in this country; greedy geezers, saving and planning for retirement; Social Security and Medicare crises; physician-assisted suicide; the morality of extending life; and (my personal favorite) she debunks the myth about old age bringing about wisdom.
Despite the author sprinkling a few sarcastic bon-mots through her work, the
book is one informative but depressing little sucker. Speaking as a 51-year-old
man, happily married to a woman who is the same age and still in relatively good
health, the book forced me to acknowledge a facet of life most of us would like
to either ignore or sugarcoat the likely loss of independence. Hopefully, it
will make you more aware of what's ahead and empathetic to the trails and
tribulations of being old.
(Meyers - A few years ago, I started writing book reviews under the pseudonym Franklin the Mouse at Amazon's web site. This is my most recent review. #285)
(Meyers - A few years ago, I started writing book reviews under the pseudonym Franklin the Mouse at Amazon's web site. This is my most recent review. #285)
Thursday, February 9, 2012
All Wet
(A FATHER-AND-SON MOMENT WHILE DRIVING)
September 11, 2010
Zac said, "Dad, do you know what would be a cool job? I'd like to get a job working for the Coast Guard."
I replied, "That would be a neat job, but there's one problem. You hate swimming in cold water."
"They give you thermal suits."
"The water's still cold. You'll be great in the Coast Guard as long as they have you patrolling heated swimming pools."
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Sex with Ducks
I've become a huge fan of this musical/comedy duo. They go by the name of "Garfunkel & Oates," which is hilarious in itself. This particular video/song was written after televangelist Pat Robertson made the comment that legalizing gay marriage would lead to legalizing sex with ducks.
Double Vision
Our son, Zac (age 13), was talking on the computer with one of his friends. Their school laptops allow them to see each other while they converse. I leaned over the computer screen, made a goofy face and waved at her.
"Who's that?" She asked.
Zac replied, "It's my dad."
I backed out of her visual range, looked at my son and said, "I bet she was thinking, 'I didn't know Zac's dad was George Clooney.'"
Zac deadpanned, "More like George Costanza."
Monday, February 6, 2012
Sunday, February 5, 2012
BOOK REVIEW: Dream Weavers
Mr. Hedges is in one heck of a foul mood. His raging against the evolving of
American democracy into an oligarchy is accurate, but relentlessly depressing.
The author focuses on some of our most horrid characteristics: celebrity worship;
"pro" wrestling; the brutal porn industry; Jerry Springer-like shows; the
military-industrial complex; the moral void of elite colleges such as Yale,
Harvard, Berkeley and Princeton; optimistic-ladened pop psychology; and
political/corporate conformity.
Mr. Hedges grim assessment put me in a seriously
foul mood. The chapter involving the porn trade that is run by large
corporations such as AT&T and GM (the car maker, for crying out loud) was an
especially dark, profanity-laced depiction of the abuse and moral decay of
American society . He is correct in his belief that the continual barrage of
psuedo-events and puffery disguised as news (especially television) has
conditioned most of Americans to be non-critical thinkers. Entertainment,
consumption and the dangerous illusion that the U.S. is the best in the world at
everything are childish mindsets. The oddest part of Mr. Hedges' book is the
ending. The last three pages take such an unexpectedly hard turn from "all is
lost" to "love will conquer," I practically got whiplash.
Overall, the author
should be commended for trying to bring our attention to what ails our country
and challenging readers to wake up from their child-like illusions. Now, time
for me to go run a nice, warm bath and where did I put those razor blades?...
(Meyers - A few years ago, I started writing book reviews under the pseudonym Franklin the Mouse at Amazon's web site. This is my most recent review. #284)
(Meyers - A few years ago, I started writing book reviews under the pseudonym Franklin the Mouse at Amazon's web site. This is my most recent review. #284)
Saturday, February 4, 2012
BOOK REVIEW: Winging It Western
Mr. Leonard's first novel, originally published in 1953, is a solid story with many twists and turns as the two protagonists, Bowers and Dave Flynn, set out on their assignment to catch an old Apache leader named Soldado Viejo. The experienced cowboy, Flynn, agrees to take on this odd, freelance job with the young, greenhorn Bowers, because of his hatred of Colonel Deneen who offers him the assignment.
The book isn't an indepth study of the different characters, but more a series of challenges they face against the Apache, the bounty hunters, Colonel Deneen and a Mexican Lieutinent named Lama Duro. The assorted heroes and villians are one-dimensional and about as introspective as dirt. I never warmed up to any of the characters or cared if they bit the dust. However, the pleasure in reading Mr. Leonard's book is wondering how or if the people will survive different confrontations. Everyone in the story, with the exception of the Apache, seem to be flying by the seat of their pants as they stumble into different episodes.
This tightly written little story is nowhere near in the same league as Larry McMurtry's epic Lonesome Dove, but still a very entertaining way to kill some time. The ending was a little too neat and tidy for my tastes. If you like western novels, then you'll likely be pleased with Mr. Leonard's story.
(Meyers - A few years ago, I started writing book reviews under the pseudonym Franklin the Mouse at Amazon's web site. This is my most recent review. #283)
Friday, February 3, 2012
In The Ear Of The Beholder
One morning last September, Monique woke up to the radio alarm with murder on her mind. A new group had done a remake of her cherished Anne Murray song You Won't See Me. She told me the rock group sounded very off key, really butchered it and, to make matters worse, the lead singer was a friggin' guy.
This I had to hear. I looked it up on YouTube, touched the 'play' button and asked Monique, "Is this the remake you heard?"
"YES! Who is it?"
"The Beatles."
Is That Your Final Answer?
The exact phrase I heard most often on first dates many moons ago. The women even sounded like this clip.
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