Naked Ambition

Bret Easton Ellis, the author of the controversial novel American Psycho, has written a screenplay called The Canyons. It's described as a movie about "youth, glamor and sex in Los Angeles in the year 2012." It is currently in production. Apparently, in a desperate attempt to act in another movie, Lindsay Lohan will be starring in it with a porn star named James Deen.

I had never heard of Deen so I looked him up on my iPad's IMDb movie app. It listed all the movies he's starred. I couldn't stop laughing when I scanned the list. Most actors will star in about 2 or 3 movies per year. In 2011, James Deen starred in 50 with such Oscar-worthy titles as Gangbanged 3, Big Wet Asses 20, and that Mary Shelley classic Fuckenstein.

BOOK REVIEW: Can't Cajole, Can't Frighten, Can't Buy

(Originally published 1979, Paperback edition 741 pages)

Arguably, Theodore Roosevelt was our nation's most dynamic President. Mark Twain thought the guy was insane. Rudyard Kipling, the author of "The Jungle Book," said after spending some time with Teddy, "Must be President some day. A man you can't cajole, can't frighten, can't buy." One thing is certain, there weren't many who could be indifferent about the bull moose of a guy. Even before he became our 26th President, the brilliant, pugnacious, quirky, priggish and the Alpha of type-A personalities had an extremely colorful life. The following description I copied from Wikipedia: "The theory describes a Type A individual as ambitious, rigidly organized, highly status conscious, can be sensitive, care for other people, are truthful, impatient, always try to help others, take on more than they can handle, want other people to get to the point, proactive, and obsessed with time management. People with Type A personalities are often high-achieving "workaholics" who multi-task, push themselves with deadlines, and hate both delays and ambivalence." That's Theodore Roosevelt to a tee.

The first book of this three-volume biography covers from Mr. Roosevelt's birth (1858) until he becomes President due to the assassination of William McKinley (1901). No matter your political persuasion, you'll find plenty of stuff in these pages to admire and hate about the man. You'll also be exposed to major powerbrokers at a time when politics was overrun by graft, the "spoils system", and the merging of corporations with politics that makes our present-day shenanigans look like a Teletubbies' episode.

Mr. Morris does an outstanding job describing the events that shaped Mr. Roosevelt into the outsized character he was. I fell in love with this book in my early twenties back in the early 1980s and knew I would read it again at some future date once Mr. Morris completed the other two volumes. I didn't, however, realize I was going to have to wait for three more decades before he completed them. It was well worth the wait. Mr. Morris is one of those rare talents who is able to make history come alive as if you are there. This first volume is truly a work of art and deserves all its awards and praise. "The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt" is one of my favorite biographies.

(Meyers - A few years ago, I started writing, under the pseudonym Franklin the Mouse, short reviews at Amazon's web site. This is my most recent review #313)

Eyes On The Prize

Guess who has a slice of pizza?

Weighty Matters

I asked, "Nick, while you're right there, would you turn on the air conditioner?"
Monique leaned over, turned it on and started adjusting the temperature upward.
I said, "No! Don't do that! I want it that cool."
"Wow... really? Are you in menopause?"
"No. I'm in fatsopause."

Thinking Inside The (Litter) Box

I had a salad for lunch and then another for supper. To paraphrase Catwoman in The Dark Knight Rises,

"There's a storm coming, Mr. Meyers."

BOOK REVIEW: The Anti-Don Juan

(Originally published 2012, hardcover edition 178 pages)

While Mr. Halpern's dad plays a sizable role in the author's second book, he is not the primary focus like in his wonderfully entertaining "Sh*t My Dad Says." The stories in this memoir center on Mr. Halpern's less-than-stellar relationship with the opposite sex. He takes you through from his childhood up until the point in which he proposes to a woman. The book has plenty of gut-busting passages. As usual, his profanity-addicted dad is entertaining as hell and the author has a great knack for writing every day events in a very funny manner. Surprisingly, despite the book being sprinkled with a fair amount of swearing, at its core it is a sweet memoir. "I Suck at Girls" was a perfect bromide for me after having read a large book about genocide. I believe I may have laughed while reading almost every one of the 178-pages in the book. If you're looking for a quick, entertaining read, Mr. Halpern's memoir is a wonderful choice.

(Meyers - A few years ago, I started writing, under the pseudonym Franklin the Mouse, short reviews at Amazon's web site. This is my most recent review #312)



BOOK REVIEW: Tiptoeing Around The G-Word

(Originally published 2002, paperback edition 527 pages)

After loony Hitler and his acolytes killed 6 million Jews and millions of "undesirables" who didn't live up to Aryan standards, the Western World said, "never again." Ms. Power clearly shows how empty this promise was during the 20th Century. Her primary focus is on the United States due to us being the major superpower as well as a beacon to the rest of the world when it comes to human rights. The problem is we fall very short in the "never again" category. Heck, not only did U.S. Presidents consistently tiptoe around using the word 'genocide,' we directly or indirectly aided those who went on their killing sprees.

Ms. Power walks the reader through the invention of the word 'genocide' by Raphael Lemkin, a Holocaust survivor, and his lifelong effort to have the word become the standard for addressing the systemic effort to eliminate a specific group of people. The author highlights the 1915 massacre of Christian Armenians by the Turks; the Holocaust; the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia; Saddam Hussein's attack on the Kurds; the Bosnian Serbs genocide against Croats and Muslims; and, lastly, the Hutus butchery of Tutsis in Rwanda. U.S. Presidents, politicians and the military knew full well that genocide was taking place but failed to act for numerous reason sighted in the book. Yes, even the hallowed Ronald Reagan is taken to the woodshed by the author. Ms. Power does especially harsh and correct assessments of Presidents George H.W. Bush's and Clinton's actions. Under President Clinton's watch, three acts of genocide occurred with him only finally acting after he viewed it as a political liability to his Presidency. Basically, Bubba and Bush-41 had no backbone and focused primarily on themselves above all others.

What I found most infuriating about the world's and U.S. actions is their fear of using the word 'genocide' when it is clearly what was occurring. There are numerous examples in the book of politicians being vague or blantantly lying to save face. Ms. Powers does, however, highlight some heroes who challenged the lying piles of manure known as our elected officials. When the book was published in 2002, the author rightly received oodles of awards and recognition. This is great history, wonderful analysis and challenges the reader be better critical thinkers when it comes to acts of atrocity. As 9/11 clearly showed, the United States doesn't live in a bubble. Ignoring acts of genocide not only takes away from our sense of humanity, but encourages other nutcases to even greater lengths of barbarity. The book is well worth your time if you give a damn about other people.

(Meyers - A few years ago, I started writing, under the pseudonym Franklin the Mouse, short reviews at Amazon's web site. This is my most recent review #311)

My Favorite New Yorker Cartoon

A Boy Scout He's Not

I was in the garage. I sat in the car with the engine running; waiting for Zac to come out so I could take him to Summer Camp. They were going on a two-day trip whitewater rafting. It was his responsibility to pack everything required for his adventure.

He climbed into the car and I casually said, "Do you have your backpack?" It had all his important stuff in it.

Zac ...replied, "Oops."

He climbed out of the car, went back into the house and, 2 minutes later, came out again. He started looking in the back seat, in our other vehicle, in his backpack again.

I asked, "What are you looking for?"

"My frisbee."

"It's in the house in my backpack."

"Oh yeah."

He went back into the house AGAIN. I turned off the engine. There was no sense wasting so much fuel.

A few minutes later, once he was settled back into the car, I asked, "Do you have the book you wanted to bring along?"

Out of the car he went AGAIN. Another few minutes ticked by. As he settled down into the passenger's seat once again, I deadpanned, "Your nuts? Did you forget your penis and nuts?"

"Oh shit..." Zac started climbing back out of the car...

It's A Sign

Zac (age 13) was filling out the summer camp release form to go whitewater rafting. He flipped the page round so it was facing me, held out the pen and said, "Here. Sign this."

I deadpanned while moving my right hand up, down, left then right, "In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit."

Point Counterpoint

Monique angrily said to Jon, "You know what?... Forget it! I'm not taking you to the store like you wanted! We're not going! You've been arguing with me all day! Why should I treat you with respect when you don't treat ME with respect?"

Jon started to open his mouth to say something and I casually interrupted, "Don't say anything, Jon. That was a rhetorical question."

And thus, my son lives to see another day.

Camera-Whore Rodent

Doggone, Ye All

"Hi. I'm Larry. This is my brother Darryl

and this is my other brother Darryl."

BOOK REVIEW: No Complaints

(Originally published 2009, Paperback edition 438 pages)

It was only recently that I became aware of Ian Rankin and his famous Inspector Rebus book series. Apparently, fans of Inspector Rebus take a dim view of the author retiring that character and introducing a new protagonist, Malcolm Fox. Fortunately, I come to Mr. Rankin's work with fresh eyes. "The Complaints" is the first novel I've read by the Scottish author, but it certainly won't be the last. This is great stuff. The main protagonist, Malcolm Fox, as well as the other characters who inhabit "The Complaints" feel extremely real. I don't like giving away plot material while reviewing novels, so I will stick to generalities.

The Complaints Department is equivalent to what we in the United States call Internal Affairs. Investigating other suspected cops doesn't exactly make you the most popular character in any police department. This is a great premise to launch a new character. Malcolm Fox, a huge, frumpy, out-of-shape, bear of a man, is more a by-the-books kind of guy who is forced into investigating outside his comfort zone due to, at first, family obligation and then an interdepartmental request. Eventually, he falls into the crosshairs of the unknown antagonist(s). There are plenty of mysteries floating around in the story and it's darned near impossible to figure out whom Fox can trust up until the last, few pages of the book. Also, I found Fox's interactions with his sister and dad to be especially touching.

I seriously don't understand how Mr. Rankin is able to tease out such believable characters by using just words. The story is not some James Bondish sort of tale, but a highly entertaining, gritty, very human whodunit. I absolutely loved it.

(Meyers - A few years ago, I started writing, under the pseudonym Franklin the Mouse, short reviews at Amazon's web site. This is my most recent review #310)

The Words Escape Me

I consider myself a pretty open-minded kind of guy, but while reading State Senator Bill Diamond's book "The Evil and the Innocent" about sex crimes against kids, he lists a few fetishes that actually surprised me.

Here's a few:

eproctophillia means sexual arousal from the act of farting; emetophillia means vomiting on the sex partner or being vomited on during sex;

ursusagallmatophillia means dressing up like animals while involved in sexual activities

and, finally,

paraphillic is a guy wearing a diaper and pretending to be an infant during sexual activity with a partner.

How in the hell do you introduce these kind of "turn ons" to a partner? "Ooooooo, baby, tell ya what... I'm gonna slip on this huge diaper, put on this baseball cap with moose antlers and stick my finger down my throat while we have sex. But first, I need you to fart really loud."

BOOK REVIEW: Many Maine Monsters A-Molestin'

(Originally published 2012, Paperback edition 137 pages)

Heaven knows, Mr. Diamond is justly passionate about the issue of sexual abuse towards children and he certainly has the bonafides in addressing this most heinous of crimes. This brief book correctly shows that it is not simply a black-and-white issue. Good intentions by legislators and advocates in Maine have made a mess of the sex registry.

His book covers such subjects as snuff films, peer-to-peer networking, the federal Adam Walsh Act, the Maine State Police Computer Crime Unit, Penn State's Jerry Sandusky, sex offenders submitting to what I call pee-pee polygraphs, the techniques of grooming to take advantage of targets and, lastly, a few of the eyebrow-raising sexual fetishes practiced by people with a heck of a lot more pizzazz than me. The author forewarns readers that some of these stories will give you nightmares. This I did not find to be the case. More talented writers have given better descriptions of sexual predators that caused me to lose many a night's sleep.

Mr. Diamond's rant includes very sensible measures such as better funding as well as more staff for the Maine State Police Computer Crime Unit and using lay terminology on the sex registry instead of legalese used by judges and lawyers when describing the convictions of offenders. There is plenty of solid information in these pages that will help the reader better understand this issue. However, I found the writing to be dry and repetitive. Even at a measly 137 pages, this baby needed an editor. Despite these drawbacks, the book should be read by all legislators, people working in the justice system, advocates and anyone who cares about the welfare of Maine's kids. Mr. Diamond is to be highly commended for being stubborn as a mule about continually addressing this most important of issues.

(Meyers - A few years ago, I started writing, under the pseudonym Franklin the Mouse, short reviews at Amazon's web site. This is my most recent review #309)

BOOK REVIEW: Getting Flack For Being Black

(Originally published 2010, Paperback edition 261)

When the arrest of Henry Louis Gates Jr. first became public, I felt the media and public in general had completely lost leave of their senses. Few were willing to step back and take a deep breath before jumping to conclusions. Demagogues and lunatic exclamations such as Glenn Beck's remarks about President Obama being racist against whites were carrying the day. A six-minute event came to highlight the large racial divide which still plagues our country. Speaking as a white man married to an white woman and father of two, adopted African-American sons, it was truly a disheartening moment. We live in Maine which is the whitest state in our country, yet, has a reputation of being very tolerant. This we've found to be true. There are many people in our community who have been extremely supportive of our family dynamic and, yet, our two now-teenage sons have been at the receiving end of racist stereotypes. Some of them based on ignorance and others likely because the people were flaming A-holes.

Mr. Ogletree covers well-trodded ground showing examples and discussing racial profiling. As he so aptly puts, "Those who believe that we are in a post-racial environment are naive at best or racially insensitive at worst." The Henry Louis Gates Jr. incident is used as a launching pad for a more broader discussion about how black MEN are perceived in America. Despite the author being a close friend of Professor Gates as well as a faculty member of Harvard, Mr. Ogletree does not set his sights on tarnishing Sargent Crowley of the Cambridge Police Department. He shows the officer to be well-respected by both black and white men in blue. Instead, the author convincingly shows that electing an African-American president hasn't changed our perspective of racial stereotypes. The best that can be said about President Obama's historic accomplishment is it brought out into the open bigotry or bigotry disguised as something else.

The author also explains what were the other factors that caused the LA riots after the police officers were found not guilty of beating the living daylights out of Rodney King. The book contains statistics from numerous studies showing consistent bias against blacks being targeted by the justice system. Racial profiling by law enforcement as well as in regular, everyday interactions with the public is not a rare phenomenon. What is especially discouraging is the afterword where 100, very well-accomplished men describe how despite their ascension into a higher economic class are still victims of prejudice. Part of the obligation of being parents to African-American children is that my wife and I are continually discussing issues white people can ignore; driving while black, being shadowed in department stores by security or staff, the dos-and-don'ts of interacting with people who don't know them, and the stereotypes about blacks that could get them either arrested or worse killed. These factors are reality. I live in fear for my sons. Mr. Ogletree's short, very informative book is well worth reading for anyone who believes everyone should be judged by the content of their character and not the color of their skin.

(Meyers - A few years ago, I started writing, under the pseudonym Franklin the Mouse, short reviews at Amazon's web site. This is my most recent review #308)



BOOK REVIEW: No Bones To Pick Here

(Originally published 1998, Paperback edition 732 pages)

Mr. King has a talent for gradually pulling the reader into believing the implausible is plausible. And it's never a given that the protagonist will live or win in the end. The author certainly has proven through past works that he's twisted enough to kill off a sympathetic character in the most gruesome fashion. The book is written in the first-person narrative. The protagonist Mike Noonan is still an emotional wreck and suffering from writer's block four years after the death of his beloved wife, Jo. Eventually, he feels compelled to settle into their summer camp called Sarah Laughs that is tucked up in western Maine near a lake. I grew up in northern Maine and can certainly vouch for the accuracy of the author's descriptions of the area. Heck, many a time while reading this baby, I felt I was reliving my childhood.

Also, "Bag of Bones" (1998) was written before Mr. King penned "On Writing" (2000) and the thoughts Mike Noonan has about being a writer are, I'm assuming, also the same as the horror master's creative process. This I found very informative and will likely interest the reader if you are slightly curious about the creative struggles of being a writer. If you want a deeper understanding of Mr. King's work process, I highly recommend his highly entertaining "On Writing."

I've read about half of Mr. King's works and they've varied in appeal to me. "Bag of Bones" like his book "Insomnia" was a pleasant surprise. He serves up plenty of mysteries and gives the reader just enough of a taste to pull you deeper into the tale. The villians are a mixture of standard evil characters such as Max Devore and Rogette Whitmore as well as others who do evil things because they feel they have no recourse. As usual, it's the mystery of what is going bump in the night that scares the bejesus out of the reader compared to actually seeing the monster. The story moves along with Mr. King's usual solid character development into a horror/mystery and finally culminates in more an action adventure than horrorfest. This is a great tale and a perfect summer read.

(Meyers - A few years ago, I started writing, under the pseudonym Franklin the Mouse, short reviews at Amazon's web site. This is my most recent review #307)

Lost For Words

A friend on Facebook posted this picture.

I replied,

"The first word I saw was 'lazy' and I didn't bother looking for the three others."