Now We're Smokin'

ANOTHER FATHER-&-SON MOMENT

Zac (age 12) and I were driving back from Old Orchard Beach after he had spent the afternoon with six of his friends. My son started talking about how they went into a candy shop, bought some candy cigarettes and pretended to smoke them. Two adults (probably tourists) came up to Zac and Chris and asked if the boys could direct them to a local grocery store where they might also buy some cigarettes.

I said, "Ya know, Zac, candy cigarettes are a gateway drug to bubble gum cigars."

He laughed.

I continued, "Man, I remember in high school making out with a girl who smoked. It was like licking a friggin' ashtray." (I lefted out that I was shitfaced beyond reason that night.)

Zac said, "That sounds so gross."

I replied, "It certainly was. After that, there was no way in hell I was ever going to make out with a girl who smoked. In fact, I believe my vow is why so many women in the U.S. during 1970s started smoking. They were like 'Steve Meyers said what?... Hand me that fuckin' Marlboro.'"