BOOK REVIEW: The Scheme Team

(Originally published 2005, Paperback Edition 755 pages)

To say I was flummoxed by the handful of one-star Amazon reviews of Ms. Goodwin's excellent book is a mild understatement. Over the years, I have read a couple dozen books about Lincoln and the Civil War and, without question, Team of Rivals is one of my favorites. Instead of focusing on the key battles, she takes great pains in showing the evolution of some of the major players in President Lincoln's cabinet. There are oodles of books out there explaining in minute detail every key battle if you yearn for such works. This is not one of those books. The reason President Obama and Secretary of State Clinton enjoyed Team of Rivals is very likely because it explains the conflicting, strong personalities surrounding Lincoln and how he was able to manipulate situations to his and the nation's advantage.

The book starts off by following the lives of four main characters: Abraham Lincoln, William Seward, Salmon Chase and Edward Bates. The only odd aspect about this selection of people is the author's focus on Edward Bates. It was interesting to read about the man's life, but Mr. Bates didn't really hold a candle to Edwin Stanton when it came to historical impact. Eventually, Ms. Goodwin brings the Secretary of War more into the picture and relegates Mr. Bates into the background with other administrators such as Gideon Welles and Francis Blair. It's clear Ms. Goodwin is a huge admirer of President Lincoln and, apparently, less so of such people as the machiavellian Treasury Secretary Salmon Chase and the ineffective popinjay, General William McClellan. Personally, I don't blame her. I'm amazed Lincoln never kicked Chase's and McClellan's front teeth out. The President certainly had many opportunities and reasons to do so.

Team of Rivals is a work about the machinations of power and not the bloody battles that caused over 600,000 deaths in the four-year war. Her writing style fits perfectly in bringing these historic individuals to life. Such episodes as Willie Lincoln's death and the assassination of President Lincoln and Secretary of State Seward truly moved me. Even today, President Lincoln still has his detractors, but they are a minor, misguided group. Our sixteenth president was one of our nation's greatest leaders. He was a humanitarian burdened with trying to keep a very fractured nation as one. His intelligence, intuitive judgment and nearly perfect political timing were truly remarkable. Ms. Goodwin has done an extraordinary job in bringing these people back to life. There were many a late night I couldn't put this sucker down. Simply outstanding.

(Meyers - A few years ago, I started writing, under the pseudonym Franklin the Mouse, short reviews at Amazon's web site. This is my most recent review #302)

Growth Spurt

It's bad enough old age has me periodically trimming my ear and nose hairs, but now my damn eyebrows are taking their cues from friggin' Muppets.

Nosy Patient

I got myself ready for my dentist appointment this morning: brushed my teeth; flossed; clipped my nose hairs and left a tip for the dentist by placing a jellybean in each nostril.

Head's Up

(ANOTHER FATHER-&-SON MOMENT WHILE DRIVING BACK FROM HIS DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT)

I asked, "How did your physical go?"

Zac replied, "Pretty good except for the fact that a stranger was inspecting my penis."

"She's not a stranger. She's been your doctor since you were a baby. And trust me, the doctor sees plenty of guys' junk during the day that it doesn't even phase her."

"Uh huh."

"In faaaact, do ya know what would be neat? You could do something to break up the monotony of her having to see all those penises. Next year when you have your physical, put a little finger puppet like a cute mouse on the end of it."

"Wouldn't I have to be erect?"

"Naaah, look at your finger. It would be best if your dink was limp."

"It'll fall off."

"No problem. We'll attach it with Super Glue."

"We?"

Shake Dat Thing

(ANOTHER FATHER-&-SON MOMENT)

I asked Zac, "So, do you guys still follow that rule where you only dance with someone you're dating?"

He replied, "It isn't a rule. We do it out of respect for the one we're dating."

"That's silly. Back when I was in school, we didn't just dance with the person we were dating. In fact, even now Mom and I will go dancing and do The Grind with total strangers. They don't even have to be..."

Zac interrupted and deadpanned, "You have to stop talking now."

Stinkin' At Bein' Lincoln

While reading Doris Kearns Goodwins' Team of Rivals I read the the following sentence: "(Abraham) Lincoln did not drink (I thought "Hey! That's me!"), smoke tobacco (me again!), engage in games of chance (me again!) or use profane language (fuck) ..."

Birds Of A Feather

After Zac's appointment with his doctor, we swung by McDonald's and I got him a meal because he had missed his school lunch period. I hadn't eaten anything today, but didn't want to spend more of what little cash I had on junk food for myself.

While driving him to school, he happily ate the Bacon Cheese Angus Burger, a large french fry, two apple pies and a Oreo milk shake. My son the health nut. It was absolute torture to have those smells wafting through the car and me starving. I dropped Zac off as well as picked up Jon at Middle School and returned home. Before throwing the McDonald's bag into our recycle bin, I spied three french fries laying in the bottom of the bag. Greedily, I scarfed them down.

This is what parenthood has done to me. I've taken on the dinner habits of a friggin' sea gull in a McDonald's parking lot.