Hard To Digest

(AND YET, ANOTHER FATHER-&-SON MOMENT) 

While Jon and I were driving towards home, I held up the banana peel, started bobbing it up and down on the steering wheel and said, "Hey... Look, Jon. A banana spider."

Jon replied, "Dad, did you know there's such a thing as a Banana Spider?" 

"Really?"

"Yeah. They're really poisonous. The female spider crawls into a banana..."

"STOP! Stop right the fuck there. I don't want to hear it."

"No, Dad, it's interesting. The female spider..."

"STOP!!"

"... it crawls into the banana and lays its..."

"STOP, DAMN IT!"

"... its eggs."

"Thanks a friggin' lot, Jon. Now I'm gonna be freakin' out every time I bite into a banana."

"The eggs hatch while being transported to market and when a person peels the banana the baby spiders come out and bite you."

"Jesus Christ, Jon, I didn't need to hear that."

"The poison is really painful and it takes like two hours before you die."

"It's talks like this that make me regret adopting you guys."