BOOK REVIEW: Liar, Liar, Everyone's Pants Are On Fire

(Originally Published 2002, Mass Market Paperback 859 pages)

Though this Paul Brenner sequel picks up shortly after the conclusion of  "The General's Daughter," it isn't necessary to have read the bestseller in order to understand what is going on in "Up Country." It seems that Mr. DeMille took his personal experiences of revisiting Vietnam in January 1997 after his tour of duty in 1966-69 and then incorporated them into this fictional adventure with Paul Brenner. Revisiting and reliving the battle sites, including the famous the Tet Offensive, are truly intense passages. I was completely immersed in the emotional turmoil that Brenner experienced as he relived many episodes that felt to him like they only happened yesterday instead of thirty years prior. Mr. DeMille is in top form as an author in this area.

The military mystery of a 30-year-old murder, which is the reason Brenner is in Vietnam, is also very well done, but feels more of an afterthought as compared to being given a tour of 1997 Vietnam. There is some very intense moments, especially with a North Vietnam veteran named Colonel Mang, but yet again, such events are pretty sparse. Practically everyone in this thing is also a compulsive BS artist. The only person you'll trust is the two-faced Brenner because he's the narrator of the novel. My biggest disappointment was the relationship between Paul Brenner and the mysterious Susan Weber. The dialogue between them felt extremely hokey and the evolution of their relationship seemed highly implausible.

The reader will need to have a lot of patience if they were expecting a suspenseful mystery. You'll be wading through a few hundred pages at a time before anything exciting happens and you may be upset at how this sucker ends. "Up Country" wasn't what I was expecting, but worth reading because of the emotional and moral quandaries experienced by a man scarred by the Vietnam War. The big question you may want ask yourself is do you want to commit to reading over 850 pages for 200-300 pages of suspense?

(Meyers - A few years ago, I started writing, under the pseudonym Franklin the Mouse, short reviews at Amazon's web site. This is my most recent review #393)

BOOK REVIEW: Feral Fanatics

(Originally Published 2010, Paperback Edition 262 pages)

Much like Ms. Milgrom, taxidermy is a profession in which I had mixed feelings. I find it both fascinating and repulsive. The level of detail and focus an individual must have to recreate a realistic animal is not only a highly technical skill but many taxidermists rise to the level of creating exceptional art. Surprisingly, the people who are committed to this unique discipline rarely make even a decent living nor do they receive, outside of other taxidermists, the respect their profession so richly deserves.

My knowledge in this area was nonexistent. The author opened up an extremely interesting world. Ms. Milgrom's investigation covers such areas as a third-generation taxidermy shop in New Jersey; a taxidermist competition/trade show; an interesting history of the movers-and-shakers in the field; the American Museum of Natural History; the comparison between American and European attitudes about it; an eccentric English taxidermist named Emily Mayer; the auction of the odd Mr. Potter's Museum of Curiosities; and finally the author gets her own hands dirty by recreating a grey squirrel which she submits into a national competition. The book is peppered with oodles of interesting trivia.

Ms. Milgrom does a fine job describing taxidermy and taxidermists in their various manifestations. Their mindsets and work ethics are very different than I had envisioned. Her wonderful writing is highly informative, introspective as well as sprinkled with occasional humor. If you even have a modicum of interest in taxidermy, I highly recommend you pick up a copy of Ms. Milgrom's work.

(Meyers - A few years ago, I started writing, under the pseudonym Franklin the Mouse, short reviews at Amazon's web site. This is my most recent review #392)

BOOK REVIEW: Lost In Translation

(Originally Published 1966, Paperback Edition 264 pages)

There were two reasons I decided to read Mr. Shepherd's book: I love the movie "A Christmas Story" which is loosely based upon "In God We Trust," and the book jacket described him a predecessor of Garrison Keillor. Wow. Like Keillor? Really? I wonder what the person who wrote the description on the book jacket was smoking? It must've been some primo stuff. Mr. Shepherd's work is clumsily pulled together by inserting a short 2-or-3-page sub-story before each major chapter. The sub-story involves an adult Ralphie, who lives in New York City, visiting a bar run by his old friend Flick in their hometown of Hohman, Indiana. The two of them begin reminiscing about their childhoods. Each chapter erratically jumps to different ages of Ralphie: he's a 8-year-old, then a 14-year-old, then a 12-year-old, then back to being an 8-year-old, yadda, yadda, yadda. Also, unlike the classic Bob Clark movie, the author's work does not revolve around Christmas. There's plenty of stuff between the cover of this thing that was never in the movie. For instance, one chapter involves a Fourth-of-July episode about fireworks and another is about fishing during the summer. The book was published in 1966, so many of the references will be obscure to young adult readers.

The late Mr. Shepherd was nowhere near the talent of Garrison Keillor. While Mr. Keillor's satirical works have a more reserved delivery, Mr. Shepherd writes ponderous sentences that sound like he upchucked a thesaurus. The author's idea of humor is to use very heavy-handed exaggerations which, for me, fell flat. Heck, I don't think I even cracked a smile during the whole ordeal. Unlike the funny uplifting movie or Mr. Keillor's work, Mr. Shepherd's underlying attitude about his hometown is one of cynicism. Clearly, based upon other Amazon reviewers' feedback, I'm in the minority, so maybe you'll like it. I, however, found the book to be depressing, not funny and almost killed my love of reading.

(Meyers - A few years ago, I started writing, under the pseudonym Franklin the Mouse, short reviews at Amazon's web site. This is my most recent review #391)

BOOK REVIEW: To Hell And Back

(Originally Published 2013, Paperback Edition 692 pages)

Before you begin "NOS4A2," google "German film Nosferatu" to see what Mr. Hill's main character Charlie Manx looks like. This image in itself should scare the pants off you. Mr. Hill's modern-day reinvention of Lord Orlok is simply excellent. The main protagonist, Vicki McQueen, is a heroine who the reader can also believe would evolve from an innocent 8-year-old as portrayed into a troubled adult. When she stumbles into Charlie Manx's world, all hell breaks loose.

The book doesn't waste any time. It starts off creepy and holds the suspense throughout the story. A few of the passages will upset readers who are very religious. It is understandable that the pen name of Joe Hill was the author's effort to have some independence from his worldwide-famous dad, Stephen King, and wanting to make it in the publishing business on his own merits. Now with a third successful horror novel under his belt, Mr. Hill seems to have zero qualms about peppering "NOS4A2" with trivia from his dad's works. Avid Stephen King fans will likely chuckle over the few Kingish references. There's even a plug to something in Stephen King's new work "Dr. Sleep" that had not been published yet.

Mr. Hill's story is, in ways, your standard horror book. You have your flawed protagonists, nasty antagonists and a sprinkling of half-wits. Charlie Manx is one truly scary villain and his disturbing sidekick, Bing Partridge, would never be any parent's ideal of a perfect son. Being a parent, I also found his usage of children as victims of Charlie Manx's needs was especially unsettling. "NOS4A2" is exciting, unnerving and highly entertaining stuff. Of Mr. Hill's three novels, "Heart-Shaped Box," "Horns," and this one, I found "NOS4A2" to be the most compelling. 

 (Meyers - A few years ago, I started writing, under the pseudonym Franklin the Mouse, short reviews at Amazon's web site. This is my most recent review #390)

BOOK REVIEW: Jaundice VS Juandice

 

 (Originally Published 1852, Mass Market Paperback 818 pages)

Based upon "Bleak House," it's safe to say that Mr. Dickens was not a big fan of the legal system and lawyers. Published in a monthly-series format between 1852 and 1853, "Bleak House" portrays London in all its sootiness. Mr. Dickens personal experiences of living as a boy while working his backside off in the city, barely eating and isolated clearly affected his literary work. His descriptions of soot-coated London and the slums are highly effective and upsetting. Mr. Dickens writes about a world where England had a distinct class system, abject poverty, debtor's prisons, a high mortality rate due to diseases and starvation, massive amounts of uneducated working class, a rigid upper-class moral code, and apparently, one heckuva parasitic legal system.

I was hesitant in reading "Bleak House" because of its title. I had imagined the 800plus-page book to be chock-full of misery and depression; the kind of stuff that gives critics and book snobs all sorts of orgasms. Granted, the story does have its fair share of such events, but Mr. Dickens also includes humor, mystery, adventure and romance. This is the third, large, Charles Dickens book I've read. The other two, the "Pickwick Papers" (1836-37) and "Oliver Twist" (1837,) were also highly entertaining. However, I found all three works took some getting used to in relating to Victorian sensibilities as compared to today's mores. What the folks in "Bleak House" sometimes consider huge crises in their time, wouldn't be a big deal today. Also, brevity isn't Dickens' strong suit. The author frequently rambles on and on and on... and, I swear to God, the guy had some form of Tourette's-metaphor Syndrome. In the 1800s, this overly-flamboyant writing style was all the rage. Today, however, an editor would likely have a field day marking up Dickens' stuff.

"Bleak House" is entertaining, but only if you can force yourself to relate to his times. The characters are given ample time to reflect their thoughts, but still are close to one-dimensional. The good characters are always good and the nasty people remain nasty. My word, the main protagonist, Esther Summerson, could give Mother Theresa a run for her money in the sainthood department. Others such as Harold Skimpole, are purely satirical figures because no person in real life would tolerate such a narcissistic leach without eventually hitting him on the side of the head with a shovel. Also, the lives of the various characters continually intersected so frequently that I began to think maybe London had a total population of 12.

I know, I know, to say anything critical of Charles Dickens' work is considered almost as bad as piddling on a Christmas Nativity scene, but his books aren't for everyone. Look, I enjoyed "Bleak House" despite the "flaws" that I mentioned above. It's entertaining and I'll certainly read more of Mr. Dickens' tomes. But be prepared for a looooong read.

(Meyers - A few years ago, I started writing, under the pseudonym Franklin the Mouse, short reviews at Amazon's web site. This is my most recent review #389)

BOOK REVIEW: The Candidates Behind The Cacophony

(Originally Published 2013, Hardcover Edition 482 pages)

Clearly, "Double Down" is not meant to be the ultimate book of what occurred during the 2012 campaign. The most glaring example is the reporters, Mark Halperin and John Heilemann, completely ignore Ron Paul's quixotic quest. Heck, the libertarian is mentioned even less times than Sarah Palin. And "Mama Grizzly" wasn't even running in the darned thing. That ought to cause many of Ron Paul's more zealous supporters to blow a blood vessel or two. The reporters focused mostly on the background drama that unfolded in the Obama and Romney camps. While their previous work "Game Change" seemed to center more on the historic primary battle between Democrat Senators Obama and Clinton, "Double Down" leans in the direction of Mr. Romney's travails. This makes sense. As the incumbent, President Obama was focused on the general election. There's not much really there. But Mr. Romney? I felt bad for the guy. He had to contend with such loose-cannon lightweights as Representative Michele Bachmann, Rick Santorum, Herman Cain, Texas Governor Rick Perry and blowhard Donald Trump. In addition, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has a whole chapter devoted to him potentially being a fly in the ointment of Romney's aspirations. Also, odious Newt Gingrich's antics are given quite a bit of attention. Oh, and let's not forget a Republican party in the middle of a civil war about the direction to take the GOP. Yeah, good luck with that, Mitt.

What "Double Down" does very well is humanize the individuals and clearly shows the compromises they must make in an effort to sit in the White House. President Obama and Mr. Romney are decent men, but holy ham hocks, presidential campaigns bring out the worst in people. The book's overall tone is gossipy. There are countless examples of staffs manipulating potential voters through negative ads, sabotaging the opponent's rallies, political back-scratching and power-plays, constantly obsessing about campaign contributions, and the shallow nature of debates. Also, no matter how well prepared a campaign staff and the candidate may be, "Double Down" shows that things are going to mess with your plans. Some were self-inflicted and others were completely out of their control.

The most depressing thing about "Double Down" is that going negative against your opponent works very well and many citizens are easily swayed by superficial appearances. Every four years, it's the same thing. Voters and candidates of both persuasions get all hyped-up and starting believing that if the other person wins then it will usher in the End of Days. It takes a special kind of wingnut to put themselves through our presidential-campaign process. If they win, they're considered brilliant or cheaters. If they lose, everybody throws their two cents in on how you messed up. The book successfully shows the ups and downs of running through this media-saturated gauntlet. "Double Down" is an extremely fun, informative read, but the thing made me question (once again) our nation's sanity.

(Meyers - A few years ago, I started writing, under the pseudonym Franklin the Mouse, short reviews at Amazon's web site. This is my most recent review #388)

BOOK REVIEW: And Now For Something Completely Different...

(Originally Published 2012, Paperback Edition 366 pages)

I was not familiar with Ms. Lawson or her blog until the book popped up on the New York Times Bestseller List. Sweet mother of mercy! The cute cover with the mouse on it belies a very warped mind. It took a few chapters to get used to her rambling writing style. I found the beginning of the book somewhat tiresome until the fourth chapter about Stanley the talking squirrel. From that point, I was hooked and not disappointed. She wasn't kidding in her introduction when she said some of the stuff would offend readers.

Her material is not only profanity-laced but covers a wide variety of misadventures. Beyond the talking squirrel, they include such things as her taxidermist dad and Czech-immigrant grandparents, dropping acid, meeting her future in-laws, working in Human Resources, socially awkward get-togethers, arguments with her husband Victor, undergoing acupuncture, her miscarriages, losing weight, and the unexpected death of a beloved pet. Surprisingly, she effectively mines this material for humor. All these episodes occur in Texas. Ms. Lawson's chapter about battling with vultures as well as scorpions made me glad I live in Maine. There's even an explanation of the mouse wearing a cape on the book cover.

Ms. Lawson's is an extremely funny, odd bird. The lady displays a level of paranoia that, if true, is breathtaking in its excess. She also seems unable to stay focused on any one topic without veering off on some tangent. This also makes for very funny episodes, but only for people who are not offended by profanity or off-color humor. I wonder what color the sky is in her world? It was well worth reading. 

(Meyers - A few years ago, I started writing, under the pseudonym Franklin the Mouse, short reviews at Amazon's web site. This is my most recent review #387)